GOAT-NAPING IN MULLICA

Well, I finally figured out why we have such a large police department here in Mullica. Perhaps the crime of the decade occurred recently in our tranquil hamlet as someone has apparently stolen 5 goats. But not to worry, all 14 of Mullica’s finest will be racking up (is it lamb or goat that is racked?) those long overtime hours and with this kind of terror in Mullica it is no doubt that the Chief of Police, jim THE LITTLE OINKER davis will be strongly recommending once again the hiring of 2 new cops as he did earlier this year at budget time so that all the goat herders in Mullica can sleep quietly once again. Remember this ever vigalant force racked up no goat rustlers last year but did run up over $80,000 in overtime....that no doubt explains the lack of goat rustling last year.

This obviously is the kind of crime that justifies having 4 of our 14 cops as desk duty cops rather than being on patrol and helping to cut the obscene overtime racked up by Mullica’s ‘keystone” crew of men in blue.

Richard Powell who has a herd of around 46 goats over on 22nd Ave reported to the Police that 5 of his herd were recently rustled...missing, gone... all Mullica residents are encouraged to be on the look out for the mouth watering aroma of chevron.